The key to friendship....

Well fellow reader you maybe thinking, I know what the key to friendship is or I have that down to a "T", well what I have learned it's not always what you think it is. Some believe it's Love or quality time, which don't get me wrong those are both great answers to that question and they do play a big part in friendship. What I have really learned is that Communication between you and that friend is what makes you closer together and makes you really good friends. Finding things out from other friends about your friend and making choices off of what you just heard isn't a very wise choice. The wise thing to do would be up front and ask your friend what is really going rather then listening to the things you've heard. Even when you're scared out of your freaking mind! I know this because it happened to me tonight.

A few weeks ago this friend and I, who I liked and she liked me back, made the choice to be just friends. We didn't realize it but the reason we made this choice was because we made conclusions based on things that weren't 100% accurate. We both got hurt pretty bad in the process. Neither of us realized this until tonight when we talking about the normal small talk stuff. How's your day going? What are you up to? How are you doing? etc. When she asked me how I was doing, I answered truthfully. I said "I'm alright". She asked me why and that one question of why are you feeling just alright created a snowball effect that ended up with us telling both sides of the story of what happened those few weeks before. We both we're shocked that we made similar mistakes that hurt each other....My choice doing the most damage. See I not only made a bad choice in asking her if she had really moved on but I went off of that and started to like this other girl. Let me tell you that was one of the biggest most stressful mistake and thing I've ever done. I ended up not liking her and only hurting someone else.

The main point of this whole story is that all of that could have been avoided if we had just communicated better and been real with each other. This is why I believe communication is the key to a strong and healthy relationship between friends. Now just because my story had to do with being more then just friends doesn't mean it can't be applied to a normal friendship. Well goodnight reader and really listen to what I said.

-Austin(Dukes)

First Light Of The Dawn...

Well fellow reader, there has been much to think about these past weeks. Senior year tends to bring along the questions you've been asked by other people and makes you ask them to yourself. Questions like, "Where are you going to college?", "what are you going to Major in?", "Do you plan on moving away?".....the list goes on. Questions like these have filled my mind several times but the thought of leaving all my friends and relationships here seems so hard something I don't want to do. Everyday I grow deeper in my friendships and it makes the thought of leaving so much harder. That's just half of it.

Why is it so easy for me to fall for a girl? I mean come on I stop liking one because of getting hurt and another one just walks right into my life and wants to talk and spend tons of time with me. I'm not complaining don't get me wrong but it just feels so weird sometimes. It's sort of been that way my whole. One girl comes along and I'm head over heals about her and then I move on and not even a month will go by and another will be on my mind. As you may have come to realize most of these things I post don't really have a whole lot of meaning to them or closer but it's really just me venting and hoping some one out there listens. So reader what does your first light of dawn look like?

Mask's Under Gray Skies

Life goes on or so they say, there will be another one along the road, some one will make you think this is better then what I first wanted. Things I've heard over the years that some times I've said or have been told, but when something happens to you that makes you feel like your world is just about to fall on top of you, it feels like those sayings will never come true or even have a chance at coming true. It's hard to get over some one you thought was everything you could ever want and more, but when they're completely oblivious to the way you act around them or the way you treat them different, they go and fall for some one else and you know that all you want for them is to be happy but it kills you inside that it's not with you. I have a feeling that for the next few months I'm going to be wearing a smile that hides my true face when I'm around her....can there ever be another person that makes me smile as much as big as she did? They say I will but it's so hard to believe it when there is no one else in your life that even comes close to the bar. We'll see if it happens even though my skies are looking gray.

first time around.

Well it has come. The time that I will begin my journey down the road which is called blogging. first off I'm not the best speller so if I spell something wrong I'm sorry and please forgive me.

I was up late tonight thinking about the course of events that happened this evening. I went to a small pond with a few friends where we just sat around and talked and enjoyed out time with one another. We realized at one point that we weren't the only ones who were at the pond. Up the small hill next to us was a group of people singing. After a while they came over and began talking with us. turns out they were from a youth group here in Omaha and they were just hanging out worshiping. We began all talking about our churches and the kinds of music we liked and began playing music again. It was awesome. The time spent with our new pond worship friends stirred something inside of me. I was raised a Christian and had fallen away a few years ago. although not many people knew that it was true. I was very good at going through "the motions" as people call it. As I drove home I began thinking about how far away from God I truly was. I got home and tired playing a song to God and I tired writing something about change or about Him and my mind was blank and I couldn't find the right melody at all. I became upset with myself that I couldn't do something I've done the past year. I couldn't write the words of how I felt.

I began this blog manly to get my thoughts out there. The next time you check it there may be something new or there may not. I'm not good with endings and right now honestly I don't have an ending for this post it's just my mind.

-Austin